Stay at Home Mom Life: An Update

Stay at Home Mom Life: An Update

I’ve been home with my boys full-time for about 2.5 months now. The #1 question people have been asking me lately is how that’s going, so I decided to give everyone an update on what it’s been like so far. Overall I’d say I’m pretty happy as a stay at home mom. I love that I get to wake up with my boys every day and plan their schedule and activities, and know that they’re safe with me. But there are some challenges I’ve had to overcome (and some that I’m still working on). Here’s an overview of the good and the bad:

The Good– Even though I’ve taken on more work in terms of childcare and household duties, it’s nice to feel like I actually have less on my plate because I’m not responsible for projects and deadlines in addition to the duties involved with two children under two years old. My kids are of course pretty demanding, but I get to decide how crazy I want my day to be. If I have a sleepless night (which doesn’t happen too often thanks to the boys’ schedules) I can get some fresh air and nap when the boys are napping. Physically I was worn out the first time around before my oldest son started sleeping through the night, and back then being so exhausted and going in to the office was really hard. I got through it of course, but it’s nice to be able to do things differently this time around.

This time also goes by way too fast. I feel like being home allows me slow down time a little bit and cherish these fleeting moments. When my oldest son Mason crawled for the first time our nanny captured the moment on video for us. This time around I hope to see all the milestone moments in person.

The Bad Challenges– Everyone knows that being a stay at home mom can be socially isolating, and I was prepared for that. But it’s also pretty isolating for my sons, especially since my youngest isn’t old enough to play with his big brother yet.This should get better with time, but I’ve had to make an effort to meet other stay at home moms in my area and to take my boys out to social activities (and it can be exhausting taking two babies out on my own, I’ll admit I’m not very good at this yet). So far I’ve used facebook groups and an app called Peanut to meet a few local moms. It also doesn’t help that our current neighborhood isn’t the most kid friendly, but we plan on moving to an area with more amenities for children next year, and will hopefully meet more parents naturally that way.

The other challenge is learning to take more time for myself. Watching my children 24/7 can be tiring and a little monotonous if I don’t make an effort to shake things up with our schedule and to take breaks from mom life. I fall victim to mom superhero complex sometimes, where I refuse to take off my cape and hand over more responsibilities so that I can focus on myself. I know that’s a quick and easy way to get to the point where I feel burned out though. I’m slowly  starting to make more plans away from my children again, and letting my husband take on more responsibilities when he’s available.

So those are the highlights of my life as a stay at home mom so far. I guess we can summarize that by saying stay at home mom life can be amazing, but there can also be challenges to overcome. I still feel like both staying at home and working have unique advantages, so either way it’s important to appreciate all of the positives that you have access to.

If you’re planning on staying home in the future, what are you looking forward to or dreading? And for the experienced parents (both working and stay at home) what tips do you have?

 

Wishing you lots of self-care,

Courtney

Welcome to the M Life!

Welcome to the M Life!

Hello lovely readers,

I wanted to start off with a little bit about myself before we get to the good stuff. My name is Courtney. I’m a 29 year old woman living in Northern Virginia (The DMV area). I have a 17 month old toddler named Mason, and a 3 week old baby boy named Myles (and before you ask, no we didn’t plan it this way, but I think there are some positives about a close age gap and we can get more into that later). I’ve been married for 2 years, although my husband and I have been together since our senior year of college at UVa back in 2011. I was an English major in college and I’m a writer/editor in government communications by day (but please excuse any grammar mishaps and typos here, I want to write more freely), and sell 90s vintage and vintage-inspired clothes with my hubby by night- check out our etsy page here. I’m starting this blog as a way to address a lot of issues surrounding motherhood that are important to me.

The first is that millennial motherhood comes with its challenges. We live in an age where women are told to delay motherhood in favor of their careers and instagram worthy vacations (and there is nothing wrong with that) but as someone who’s slowly building a career and still wants the instagram worthy vacations, I’m juggling how to have it all without going off the deep end, and want to share stories, tips, and resources (and get all of those things from you guys as well!). When I announced my first pregnancy shortly after my wedding, a lot of people told me I was joining the motherhood club too early, that my husband and I would be missing out on valuable time as just the two of us. But I think we both can say that our lives have felt fuller since Mason, and I feel like I’ve grown so much as a person as a result of having to care about someone more than myself.

I got similar negative reactions when I announced my second pregnancy. So many people, even strangers, said two under two would drive me and my husband crazy. But we’re all surviving so far. And while the newborn stage (and all of the hormone changes and sleep deprivation that come along with it) made me feel isolated the first time, I actually feel more connected to my husband after having Myles. The point is motherhood doesn’t have to have a bad rep as a millennial. It’s hard work but it’s seriously amazing! The second is that because motherhood in general is such hard work (some days it takes all of you and then some) connecting with and supporting other mothers is key to our survival. So is self-care, so I’ll be talking about that a lot.

I also just want to share some tips and products that I think are helpful as I discover them. There will be a lot of content for moms in general, but some just for moms of boys (because I think we get the short end of the stick when it comes to some of the fun stuff like baby clothes). This isn’t my first attempt at blogging- as some of you may know I had a very brief stint in law school, which led to my earlier blog Law Books and Lipstick (and a lot of student loans). I’ve also been a contributing blogger on The Real Chic Life (run by my Mom, who also has an amazing instagram). I’ll repost this in my about me section. I’d love your comments, questions, and suggestions. 

Wishing you lots of coffee and self-care,

Courtney