courtneyimade

Millennial Life Advice, Motherhood, Pregnancy and Postpartum, Wellness

How to Survive the Fourth Trimester

November 18, 2019November 18, 2019by courtneyimadeLeave a Comment

I’m currently six weeks into my fourth trimester- the magical three month period after having a new baby when you’re recovering from childbirth and caring for a new human that’s still on womb central time. This is baby #3 but I’m still finding the fourth trimester to be a challenge at times. This time around I have the benefit of experience with juggling more than one baby, but still suffer from sleep deprivation and hormonal changes (among other things) just like any new mom. I feel so blessed to have my three boys, but going through the postpartum period three years in a row hasn’t been an easy task and I’ve learned a lot (and I’m still learning) as a result. Here are my top tips for surviving the fourth trimester:

Manage Your Expectations– Having a new baby can be a wonderful experience at times, and at other times you might feel caught off guard by how challenging things like sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, or caring for a fussy baby can be. It’s important to know that these experiences are normal and temporary, and seek support if you’re struggling with anything. Lean on family and friends for advice when you need it.

If your hospital or another resource in your community offers a new mom support group consider joining. Read books about the postpartum period. Join POSITIVE and ENCOURAGING mom groups online. I personally love reading updates from Lucie’s List and I read and post to a few mom groups on Facebook. You can never have too much support during this period. Hearing from others about what’s normal helps you manage your expectations when things feel tough.

Many times hormonal changes and sleep deprivation are the main culprits when new moms feel irritable or “off” but if you feel like things are more serious than that and you may be suffering from postpartum depression then don’t be afraid to seek help. Many women experience that too and your pediatrician or OB can get you started with resources that will help.

Prioritize Your Needs– People tend to prioritize the baby’s needs (this starts from day 1 in the hospital) but your needs are important too. The saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup definitely applies here. Ask for as much help as you want. Say no to any activities or visitors that feel draining.

Even simple activities like taking a shower and drinking a cup of coffee can be important rituals for a new mom. Invest in a bouncer or swing if you can so that you can put that cute baby down and take care of yourself when you’re on your own. The baby will be okay while you take a quick shower.

Also don’t neglect your nutrition, especially if you’re nursing. A healthy, balanced diet and lots of water are necessary to replenish your body after childbirth. You have to be the one in charge of your self-care.

Get As Much Sleep As You Can– Unless you’re blessed with a baby who’s a great sleeper from the start (it happens, I got that lucky with baby #2) this one is usually easier said than done. But getting more sleep usually starts with getting help at night if you can. Make your partner take a shift at night if possible. Even if you’re not going into work like your partner, you still have the important job of caring for a baby during the day.

They say sleep when the baby sleeps during the day, but it can be tough to choose between napping, getting work done, and just enjoying some time to yourself. And if you have more than one child then this is especially difficult. But if sleeping is an option, take it. Cleaning, cooking, your Instagram feed etc all can wait.

Get Out of the House– Sometimes when things feel tough or you’re just exhausted, you need a change of scenery. Taking the baby for a walk so that you can get some fresh air can lift your mood. Try to schedule a few fun activities out of the house with your partner or friends as well, but don’t overwhelm yourself.

The fourth trimester might feel never ending during the challenging moments, but before you know it your baby will have outgrown the newborn stage. There’s nothing like those sweet newborn snuggles, so remember to pause and soak in the sweetness whenever you can. Those are my top tips for surviving the fourth trimester. I’d love to hear your thoughts/advice in the comments!

Xo,

Courtney

Boy Moms, Motherhood, Pregnancy and Postpartum, Uncategorized

Welcome to the World Maxwell

October 7, 2019October 7, 2019by courtneyimade2 Comments

On Friday I welcomed my third little M into the world. Maxwell (aka Max) made his debut at 37 weeks. I thought this might be a good time to post a quick update on how we’re doing so far and share his birth story. Although things didn’t go exactly as planned, I had a safe delivery and I’m so grateful he’s here and healthy.

I started having very mild contractions on Thursday afternoon. I thought they were Braxton Hicks contractions and that I needed to hydrate and take a walk as my doctor had previously advised. I took my boys for a walk and they went away, but my intuition told me to start prepping for the hospital just in case that evening. Around 1 or 2 am they came back and were strong enough to wake me up, and by 4am they were intense but irregular. I knew to call my doctor once the contractions were 3 minutes apart so I timed them on my phone and gave him (and my mom) a call around 5 am. He told me to head to the hospital.

By the time I got there my contractions were very intense but still a few minutes apart and I figured I was close but still had a little while to go. Apparently it was a very busy birthing weekend at the hospital so I sat in triage for a while. When the on-staff doctor finally came in to check me she was shocked, I was already fully dilated and ready to go. She told me to avoid pushing no matter what and they scrambled to get me into a delivery room in time and get ahold of my actual doctor. Thankfully he made it in time, but coming in fully dilated meant that I didn’t have time for an epidural. I was pretty scared beforehand, I’ve never had a natural birth and wasn’t prepared for one this time. Pushing without an epidural was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but thankfully it was all over in about 8 minutes!

Since it was my third delivery I was discharged from the hospital the next day. We’re settling in and doing great, although I have to admit the first couple of nights have been tough. My second child was a great sleeper from the start, but so far Max is more like his oldest brother. Hopefully we get through this stage and into a routine quickly. Thankfully I have a lot of help right now- my husband, Mom, and sister are keeping my head on straight this week and my mother in law will be here on Sunday.

Maxwell is so sweet and adorable, I’m soaking up all the cuddle time I can get. And his brothers are showing a lot of interest in him. They keep rubbing his head and Mason has even been giving him a few kisses. I can’t wait to see the three of them playing together eventually.

I’ll be posting more updates on my experience with three under three here. Thanks to everyone who sent us well wishes!

Xo,

Courtney

Fashion and Beauty, Fave Products, Motherhood, Pregnancy and Postpartum

Style Inspo with Pink Blush + My Top Fall Fashion Tips

September 25, 2019September 25, 2019by courtneyimade2 Comments

*The top mentioned below was gifted by Pink Blush, but all opinions are my own.

Fall is without a doubt my favorite fashion season, and now that the season has officially started, I’m already starting to wear some of my favorite pieces. Feeling stylish while 36 weeks pregnant isn’t easy, but thankfully Pink Blush’s line of maternity clothes are comfortable and always on-trend. They’re really at the top of their class when it comes to making clothing that women actually want to wear to look and feel good during pregnancy.

One of my favorite pieces currently is the Striped V-neck Tie Front Maternity Top pictured above (and fyi, it comes in a non-maternity version that you can find here). It’s incredibly soft, accommodates my rapidly expanding bump perfectly, and works with a variety of looks. It also comes in black with white stripes. Here I styled it with denim, over the knee boots, and one of my signature hats for a casual yet on-trend look that’s perfect for grabbing a meal with friends.

You can easily style a date night look with this top by pairing it with black denim, heels or booties, and a moto jacket. Or turn it into a comfy casual look perfect for running errands or heading to the park by adding a pair of black joggers or leggings, tennis shoes, and a denim jacket. The possibilities are pretty endless, making this top a wardrobe staple. You can check out more cute and versatile tops from Pink Blush here.

I’m excited to continue wearing this piece and some of my other favorites throughout the season. Here are my top 5 tips for transitioning into a fall wardrobe:

Accessories are everything. This is the time to break out boots, hats, scarves, and jewelry. Simply adding on accessories really ramps up the style factor on any outfit.
Don’t be afraid to mix neutrals. Black, brown, beige, grey, and navy can all look amazing together.
Adopt a signature print. Leopard and plaid are popular choices for fall and look amazing, but so do stripes, florals etc. A signature print lets you mix and match simpler wardrobe staples without having to think too hard.
A pop of color is always refreshing. There are so many ways to incorporate a pop of color- lipstick, your nail polish, a bag, or your shoes are all easy ways to go bold when you’re wearing fall neutrals.
Make a statement with your outerwear. Once the temps cool down and you have to wear a jacket, you might as well make it one that immediately displays your chic sense of style. Moto jackets, trench coats, wrap coats, and teddy bear coats are some of my favorites.

What are your favorite fall clothing items? If you have any additional tips for transitioning into a fall wardrobe please share.

Xo,

Courtney

Millennial Life Advice, Wellness

How to Manifest Your Goals During the Autumn Equinox

September 23, 2019by courtneyimade2 Comments

Happy first official day of fall! I wanted to continue with the spiritual wellness series I started a while back (you can read my blog post on crystals for stress relief here) by talking about a simple manifestation ritual for the autumn equinox. If you’re new to manifestation the idea is that you guide positive thoughts and energy into producing a certain outcome that you want in your life. We tend to already do this in lots of ways- think about journaling, vision boards, prayer, even something as simple as making a wish and blowing out the candles on your birthday cake. There are lots of ways to practice the art of manifestation but most involve some form of positive visualization.

The most important tool that you’ll need to manifest anything is a grateful mind. Feeling abundance in your life always attracts more abundance. The autumn equinox is the perfect time to do a manifestation ritual because fall represents a time of harvesting everything we worked for throughout the year and celebrating whatever abundance has come into our lives. The equinox is also a time of equal light and darkness (and we won’t experience that again until the spring) before the winter and we tend to naturally become more introspective around this time.

One simple way to carry out the ritual involves a piece of paper, something to write with, and a candle. I like to use tea lights or birthday candles because they don’t take too long to burn out. First light your candle. Then get your mind focused on all of the abundance in your life by writing down at least three things that happened that you’re grateful for this year. Then write down at least one personal or family goal that you would like to manifest. It’s helpful to think of your goal in terms of how you would like to feel if it happens, instead of focusing on the specific outcome. Fold your paper when you’re done.

Take a minute to stare into your candle flame and visualize what things would look and feel like if you achieved your goal. Imagine it as vividly as possible. I once heard a great tip for ending the ritual during a manifestation workshop- in your mind (or out loud) ask God or the universe or whoever you turn to for spiritual guidance to deliver that outcome or something better for the greatest good of all involved. If you want you can then burn your paper, but make sure to do it safely! I like burning the paper because I feel like the energy of the flame transforms my intentions and carries them off. It’s a great metaphor for how we have to trust that we’ll receive the things we need and let them go instead of dwelling on them constantly. Dwelling on what you don’t have reduces your mindset of abundance. If you can, let your candle burn until it goes out on its own (that’s why small candles like birthday candles are great for this). That’s it, I hope you manifest everything you need for your greatest good!

If you have another manifestation ritual please share in the comments. Or just let me know how you plan to celebrate fall now that it’s arrived. I’m hoping to get some apple cider and take my boys pumpkin picking before the new baby arrives.

Xo,

Courtney

Millennial Life Advice, Motherhood

What I Learned About Motherhood from my Own Mom

September 17, 2019by courtneyimade2 Comments

This past weekend I enjoyed a visit from my mom and sister. I love spending time with those two, they’re a big part of my life even when we’re physically separated (they live in Hampton Roads) and I turn to them for laughs and advice daily. Spending time with them as my household continues to prep for baby #3 led me to reflect on my own childhood. My mom had me when she was just a teenager, and went on to accomplish so much. I’m even more impressed by her sacrifices now that I’m a mother myself. One of the biggest lessons that I learned from my mom was that we as women are always capable of more than we think.

I know that things weren’t easy for my mom. Her version of parenthood included being a teenage mother and a single mother while working to support me and my sister, eventually earning a Bachelors and a Masters degree, and building a career. Once during grad school she became so stressed by everything she was juggling that she started experiencing physical symptoms that had to be treated with medication. But no matter what she always pushed on and made things look more effortless than they were. She didn’t let anything stop her from accomplishing her dreams AND being a good parent. Her level of achievement despite the previous obstacles in her life makes me feel like anything I want is achievable with time and persistence.

Her positive attitude about life is a big part of why I usually try to be positive (online and in real life) about motherhood. Of course I have days where I’m feeling exhausted or stressed out and overwhelmed. Parenting will do that to anyone, especially when you have small children back to back. Just adulting in general can be overwhelming some days. And being real about that can be cathartic. BUT I’ve learned from my mom that you choose how you react to your stress. Wallowing in negativity doesn’t change anything. You still have to put on your big girl pants and get things done regardless. As women we do this every day in one way or another. We always keep pushing even when things are hard.
Coming from a place of positivity instead usually involves feeling or expressing gratitude, which makes any situation better. So on the days when I’m exhausted and everyone in my household is driving me crazy, I try to remember to be grateful for them and that I wouldn’t change a single thing about my family. I keep pushing on when things are tough because I know that I’m capable of getting things done.
Another thing that I learned from my mom is that you can make positive memories for your children that will outlast many of the harder memories, and that you don’t need a big budget to do so. Things like going to the beach, getting ice cream in the summer, and carving pumpkins still stand out in my memory. Those memories make me want to treat my boys to positive experiences, so I try to schedule fun things on the weekends like play space time, farm trips, days at some of our favorite DMV locations like Old Town Alexandria or National Harbor etc. And I’m always looking for more fun things to do if you have any suggestions.

My mom also encouraged me to pursue different hobbies and interests like sports (although that didn’t last long for me) and playing the violin (which did last from elementary through most of high school). I can’t wait until my boys are old enough to join teams or develop their own hobbies. I could go on and on about what I’ve learned about parenting from my mom, but I’d love to hear from you. What are some of the biggest lessons your parents taught you?
Xo,
Courtney

Fave Products, Motherhood, Pregnancy and Postpartum

What’s In My Hospital Bag- Round Three

September 11, 2019by courtneyimadeLeave a Comment

I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy (my due date is next month!) and I have my hospital bag packed early this time. During my second pregnancy I also packed early and it turned out to be a smart move because I spontaneously went into labor at 36 weeks. Now that I know what to expect, I’ve narrowed my hospital bag list to some essentials and a few comfort/splurge items (because at this point I feel like I deserve it). Hopefully this list helps another expecting/future mom out there, but if you’ve already gone through labor and delivery I’d love to hear about what you packed. A lot of these items can be ordered and delivered to you within a couple of days on Amazon. I think the most important thing to remember though is that the hospital will provide most of what you really need. Here is everything currently in my hospital bag:

Kindred Bravely French Terry Racerback Nursing Bras– I know I raved about Everlane’s tank bra in my previous post about my favorite maternity items, but I’ve been meaning to post an update. They were a God-send, pretty much until I hit third trimester. As my breasts continued to increase in size (and I haven’t even started breastfeeding yet) I started to experience spillage with the Everlane bras. They just aren’t big enough to accommodate my pregnancy/breastfeeding size, but I’m hoping to get some use out of them later after I’m done breastfeeding. While looking for an alternative, I came across the Kindred Bravely nursing bras and decided to give them a try. These bras are amazing! Not only are they incredibly soft but they’re also supportive. Even with pesky pregnancy hormones they don’t irritate me at all. I don’t experience any spillage and the straps always stay in place because of the racerback style. The Kindred Bravely website has a really helpful guide for choosing the right size. Just fyi, this particular style is meant for sleep/loungewear, so there’s no padding. I have two packed in my bag.

Emma + Ollie Postpartum Belly Wrap– This will be my first time using a belly wrap after pregnancy, but I’ve heard good things from friends about how the right wrap or girdle can offer support as your stomach (and other organs) settle back into place. I found this affordable option on Amazon and I’m looking forward to trying it out.

Motherhood Maternity Long Sleeve V-Neck Ruched Tee– I packed a maternity top and leggings for my going home outfit. Unfortunately a pregnant stomach does not go back down immediately after delivery (I usually look like I’m still several months pregnant) so maternity items will ensure that I’m comfortable when I leave. Motherhood Maternity’s ruched t-shirts are a great basic to have in your pregnancy wardrobe. They’re flattering and can work with a variety of looks.

Zella Mamasana Live In Maternity Ankle Leggings– I love these leggings because they suck in everything below the belly and they’re still comfortable because of the over-the-belly panel. I picked them up during the Nordstrom Anniversary sale and have kept them in heavy rotation. I’m sure they will offer great support when I leave the hospital.

Stars Above Soft Notch Collar Nightgown– You should pack at least a couple of pairs of comfy pajamas that allow for easy breastfeeding. I love these pajama dresses from Target because they’re comfortable, nice enough to wear in front of guests if you want, and the neckline unbuttons easily for breastfeeding.

Barefoot Dreams Cozychic Socks, Lite Ribbed Robe, and Lite Circle Cardigan– I’m a huge fan of everything Barefoot Dreams makes. A couple of these items were splurges for me, but I really think this Oprah endorsed brand is amazing. The cardigan and robe are so incredibly soft and cozy and give me all the fall feels. It’s a good idea to pack a robe and slippers or cozy socks in case you want to walk around the hospital while you’re dressed in your delivery gown or to feel a little cozier in your room.

BabyBliss Reusable Bamboo Nursing Pads– It takes a few days for your milk to come in after birth, but before that you’ll produce colostrum (an important source of nutrients) for your baby. If you’ve already had a baby before the milk may come in faster. Once it does come in you will need nursing pads to absorb leaking milk in your bra. I’ve used disposable nursing pads in the past but prefer the reusable kind that I can just throw in the washing machine. This saves money and I think they’re more comfortable.

Frida Mom Upside Down Peri Bottle– If you haven’t experienced childbirth yet I don’t want to gross you out, but things get very messy and if you have a vaginal birth you will be sore and may even need some stitches. The hospital provides all sorts of things to help you recover like ice packs, witch hazel, pads, and a plastic peri bottle to rinse yourself off every time you use the restroom (and they’ll send you home with a ton of extra supplies). A lot of women aren’t huge fans of the standard issue peri bottle though, and Frida Mom (the makers of the amazing Frida Baby products) came out with an upside down version that is supposed to be so much easier to use. A friend recently introduced me to the Frida Mom line and I can’t wait to try this.

Frida Mom Disposable Postpartum Underwear– And because things get messy after birth (think an extremely heavy version of your period) the hospital will provide disposable mesh underwear to wear with giant pads. Some women don’t like them but I actually think they’re pretty comfortable. The only problem is I always run out of them and then resort to using inexpensive Hanes briefs until the bleeding slows down (but there’s nothing wrong with using regular, comfortable underwear that you don’t mind ruining if you want). This time I plan to keep the stretchy comfort going a little longer with Frida Mom’s disposable underwear. They also make a variety of other postpartum products that I may order once I run out of my stockpile from the hospital.

Headbands and hair ties- I’ll probably stick to simple buns while I’m in the hospital so I packed a few hair supply essentials.

Toiletries- I also packed the essentials like a toothbrush, deodorant, etc. The hospital will also provide some basic toiletries but you may prefer to have your own. Some women like to bring their own towels for comfort too but I always leave mine at home.

Makeup- If you like to wear makeup it’s a good idea to bring some along for pictures and/or visits with family and friends. Putting on a little makeup always makes me feel more put together after birth.

Electronics and entertainment – I packed a phone charger, and if you have an Ipad you may want to download a few of your favorite shows or movies on that, or bring a book or two for entertainment.

Boppy Nursing Pillow– Boppies make certain breastfeeding positions more comfortable by providing extra support as you hold the baby. I used mine often the last time I was in the hospital, and they make great infant loungers later on.

Aden + Anais Stroller Blanket– The hospital will provide everything you need for the baby while you’re there, including clothing, diapers, pacifiers, and blankets for swaddling (and let you take a lot home). But you may want to bring something personal to drape over the baby in the car seat when you leave. I like Aden + Anais because they make high-quality muslin products and muslin fabric is breathable and therefore gives me peace of mind.

Going home outfit for baby- You’ll also need an outfit for the baby when you leave, although you can usually dress the baby in clothing you brought the entire time if you want. I usually pack 1-2 going home outfits.

That’s everything in my hospital bag! I’d love some feedback, is there anything I missed? If you’ve gone through labor and delivery in a hospital what items were you glad you packed and what do you wish you had left at home?

Xo,

Courtney

Fashion and Beauty, Fave Products, Motherhood, Pregnancy and Postpartum

Pre-Fall Inspiration + 5 Fun Things to do with Your Kids in the DMV Area Next Month

September 1, 2019by courtneyimade2 Comments

*The sweater below was gifted by Pink Blush but all opinions are my own.

I’m currently 29 weeks into my pregnancy and attempting to have a pretty low-key summer, but my family and I do have a lot on our agenda for August. I’m already thinking ahead to fall though, and I love that we’ll be transitioning to fall next month. I can’t wait for cozy sweaters, warm lattes, changing leaves etc in addition to the fact that I’m excited about having a fall baby this year.

Speaking of cozy sweaters…I’m no stranger to the Pink Blush brand (I’ve worn their clothing in all three of my pregnancies and they also have non-maternity clothing for women) but they recently gifted me with this gorgeous and very on-trend leopard print maternity cardigan, and gave me the perfect opportunity to start thinking about my pre-fall wardrobe. I love that the leopard print is both bold and neutral, you can easily pair it with a variety of items in a neutral color palette. It’s also incredibly soft and I can’t wait to get cozy in it both before and after the baby comes. You can shop the cardigan here.

Other items at the top of my pre-fall list include hats (they instantly add a dose of style to any outfit), open toe booties for the summer to fall transition, and denim.

Another thing I’m excited about is taking my kids to do fun activities as the weather starts to cool down next month. I can’t say I’ll miss these 90+ degree temps. Here are 5 fun activities to do with kids in the DMV area in September:

Visit a farm- I love taking my boys to farms. Wide open spaces, fresh air, animals, and delicious fresh food are perfect for families with small children. Some farms even have elaborate outdoor play spaces. A few of my favorites are Great Country Farms (Bluemont, VA) Cox Farms (Centreville, VA), Miller Farms (Clinton, MD) and Braehead Farm (Fredericksburg, VA- worth a trip for families who live in the Stafford area). The Cox Farms Fall Festival also starts September 14.
Visit the zoo- The Smithsonian National Zoo’s free admission makes it a great choice for families, and visits are much more enjoyable when the heat isn’t unbearable.
Attend a Washington Nationals home game- Another activity that’s great when the sun isn’t beating down on you is attending a baseball game. The stadium has a great selection of food, fun family theme nights, and places you in close proximity to other DC area attractions.
Attend the Prince George’s County Fair (Sept 5-8, Upper Marlboro, MD)- who doesn’t love a good carnival? Find more info here.
Visit a Museum- DC has a number of amazing museums with free entry every day, but take advantage of Smithsonian Magazine’s Museum Day to visit a handful that normally charge an entry fee on September 21. You can download tickets here starting August 15.

Do you have any recommendations for fun things to do with kids in the DMV area this fall? I also travel a lot and would love to hear about activities in Hampton Roads, NYC, and other areas. What are you looking forward to the most about fall?

Xo,

Courtney

Marriage, Millennial Life Advice

How Marriage Changes After Children

August 31, 2019by courtneyimadeLeave a Comment

Although this post is titled “How Marriage Changes After Children” it should really be called “How My Marriage Has Changed After Children” because I completely acknowledge that everyone’s experience is different. But I want to share my experience (and have touched on it a little in the past) because I’ve heard a lot of negative talk about marriage after childen or conversely conversations that seem to be filtered through rose colored glasses, and I believe for many of us the reality lies somewhere in between. Here are some of the most significant ways that my relationship with my partner has changed since the birth of our sons:

Positive Communication and Affection Become More Important Than Ever-

After the birth of my oldest son Mason, I found myself in a hormonal, sleep-deprived haze for months. This meant that anything my husband did that would normally drive me a little crazy, really drove me crazy. Its easy to take things out on your partner when you’re going through extreme physical and emotional changes as well as adjusting to a complete overhaul of your normal schedule. Of course there were lots of sweet “look at our son” moments too, but it took a while for me to feel 100% like my old self in our relationship (basically once I started getting a full night’s sleep again). It required a lot of positive communication and coordinating a new routine that worked for us so that I didn’t feel resentment to get through it.

Thankfully I had an easier time after the birth of my second son Myles. Taking care of a newborn was still tough, but I knew what to expect and got more sleep the second time around. I felt like we were even more united and things flowed more smoothly in the postpartum period. I realized I needed to prioritize “acting like a couple” to feel like a strong couple- being affectionate, speaking kindly to one another, and continuing to date each other. Which brings me to my second point-

Time Spent Together Without Children Becomes Vital Too-

My hubby and I are both homebodies most of the time, and with me being a stay at home mom its easy to let our kids take over our entire schedule. But having time alone together is important for a healthy relationship. And quality time is an important love language for both of us. Almost every night after our kids go to sleep we spend time watching tv (or occasionally reading) together. I look foward to that time to decompress from my day, and we bond during that time. But since we don’t have much family around currently, we also use a sitter from care.com to go out on dates sometimes, and my goal is to increase our number of date nights after I get through my next postpartum period. Time alone together does a lot for making me feel like myself outside of my role as a mom.

Time By Yourself Requires Extra Coordination-

Before having kids, we slept in most weekends, and then if we wanted to do a separate activity we could just let each other know and go about our day. Now most days our kids are up by 7:30 (even on the weekends, and we actually have it pretty good, I’ve heard others complain of consistent 5 or 6am wakeup times). If one of us wants to do an activity without the other that means the other person is the default babysitter. That requires careful coordination for fairness in our marriage. We started alternating “sleep in” days on the weekends so that we could both enjoy a morning in bed without the kids, and alternating time away in the afternoons. That gives me an opportunity for some self-care or a movie even if I don’t have plans with friends. And even though it requires extra coordination now, being off on my own helps me miss my household and has a positive effect on my mood.

Those are some of the ways that my marriage changed after children, and how we’ve responded to get positive results. What are your thoughts on how children affect a relationship? What changes have you made to promote a healthy relationship? Let me know in the comments.

Xo,

Courtney

Millennial Life Advice, Motherhood, Pregnancy and Postpartum, Wellness

Body Positivity After Pregnancy

July 26, 2019by courtneyimadeLeave a Comment

I recently thought about the fact that I have been pregnant every year since 2016 in the process of having three kids. This has not been easy on my body. Pregnancy has its beautiful, magical moments, but my body has also cycled through hormonal changes, weight gain and loss, and breastfeeding for the past four years. That much constant change can take a mental toll, and I do have some days when I’m not feeling my most confident, days when I look back at pre-pregnancy pictures a bit wistfully despite the fact that I have always had a short, curvy figure. But for the most part I have always been ok with giving myself time and have never felt the pressure to “bounce back” right away.
This hasn’t been an easy attitude to maintain, because we live in a society that is image obsessed, and for many people being thin is the most important marker of good physical and mental health. There have been countless times that well-meaning friends or family have casually referenced me “getting my body back” after the babies in conversation, and I know other women who have recently had children who feel pretty down about their bodies. I really believe this is an attitude we need to challenge.
People are starting to talk more openly about the immense mental and emotional challenges motherhood can bring, and the isolation many women feel, thanks in part to social media and a recent push for better maternal health care. I believe we’ve only scratched the surface of this subject. My own experience was that the transition to motherhood for the first time was tough. Hormones, surviving on very little sleep, and learning to cope with being responsible for another human’s well-being 24/7 really put me through the ringer. Thankfully I had an easier time when I transitioned to being a mom of two, but every pregnancy and every baby is different. For me, focusing on being in a good place mentally has always been vastly more important than bouncing back physically. I know that I can’t be the kind of mother I’d like to be if I’m not in a great mental or emotional state, and there’s time for everything else to happen later.
But I also know that prioritizing your mental health looks different for everyone. And for some people their mental and physical progress are linked. I would challenge women to think about what they really need postpartum, not what they feel pressured to want. If being in a certain clothing size will really make you feel happier and more confident, then by all means prioritize it (safely) postpartum. If being physically fit gives you the endorphins that make it easier to thrive in this experience, then work out as much as you can! But if trying to fit others’ expectations of what your body should look like, or trying to adhere to someone else’s timeline for when a woman should “bounce back” only adds to your stress, then let go of that and focus on what you really need. Don’t let anyone define your postpartum experience for you.
The time it takes to lose weight can also vary from person to person, and there are many factors that go into it. Some women shed weight naturally while breastfeeding. I am not one of those lucky women, I actually think its a bit harder for me to lose weight while breastfeeding. My personal goals after having my baby include prioritizing healthy eating, drinking lots of water, and working out when I can until I gradually increase my workouts over time. My goals don’t include focusing on any specific numbers, whether they’re on a scale or a clothes tag. That’s what I need to support myself in the best way possible. After having a baby you should be focused on the amazing things that your body accomplished and continues to accomplish. Women are really incredibly powerful.
What are your tips for dealing with body image issues? And if you’re a Mom, how did you feel about your body during or after pregnancy? Are you pro dieting postpartum? Let me know in the comments.

Xo,

Courtney

Fave Products, Millennial Life Advice, Motherhood

The Routines That Keep My Household Afloat

July 15, 2019July 15, 2019by courtneyimade2 Comments

Now that I’ve been a Mom of two for over a year (and am getting closer and closer to being a Mom of three!) I’ve realized the key to success in my household is creating routines and sticking to them, and how routines might help others even if you’re a parent (or future parent) of one. My household does the best when we stick to established routines, and when we stray from them for too long chaos usually ensues! Below I’ve listed some of the routines that I use to keep my sanity on weekdays, including the kids’ daily routines, my weekday mealtime routine, and most importantly our bedtime routine (is there anything parents want more than more sleep?)

The Kids’ Daytime Schedule

We typically follow the same schedule Monday through Friday. When the kids wake up I let them play for about half an hour, make breakfast, then let them watch cartoons while I do some laundry or cleaning (yes, I am pro screen time when I need a distraction).

After that we do an at home preschool program by Susie of the Busy Toddler. It’s meant for kids ages 2.5 and up, but my youngest Myles still participates sometimes. The lessons typically involve a song or two, a book, and 2-3 hands on activities. I get most of the suggested books from the library, and the rest of the books and supplies on Amazon.

After “preschool” and more play time I make lunch and put the boys down for a nap. It took a little while to get both of them on the same nap schedule. This involved doing my best to keep Myles awake until after lunch, until he got used to it. Getting them down for a nap at the same time is so worth it, because it guarantees me an hour or two of free time where I can get some things done or take a nap myself (which has been helpful this pregnancy). If you have two children close in age I recommend getting them on the same nap schedule as early as possible.

After nap time I take them out in the stroller for a walk or some time at the park or library. Then I just let them play until my husband comes home and he takes over while I make dinner. The rest of the evening typically revolves around whatever my husband and I are doing.

Mealtimes

I love to eat but I am not the type of person who loves to cook. I’ve developed a few hacks to make things easier for myself. The first thing I do to make things easier is never taking my kids grocery shopping. I rarely go to the grocery store at all these days, unless I’m running in for a quick item or two. The rest of the time I order groceries through Amazon Prime Now. They are conveniently delivered to my door and as long as you buy at least $35 worth of groceries the delivery fee is free (although you can add on an optional tip for the driver). This means no more struggling with a crying toddler or two while I schlep down aisle after aisle, and grocery shopping no longer raises my blood pressure like it has in the past.

For breakfast I usually alternate between whole wheat pancakes, Abe’s amazing vegan muffins (I cannot stress enough how amazing they are), cinnamon raisin toast, or scrambled eggs with fresh fruit for my kids. In the future I’d love to expand to some more healthy recipes but for now these options are quick and always work.

Lunch is usually peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or Dr. Praegar’s spinach, broccoli, sweet potato or kale littles with veggies or fruit. I don’t experiment much with lunch foods because my oldest Mason is so picky.

Dinner is when I do the most experimenting. I recently restarted my Hello Fresh subscription so that I can learn more vegetarian meals, and we go meat free 3 times a week with their veggie plan. I won’t keep the subscription going forever, but for now it’s a great way to learn new recipes and cooking skills, and having a subscription has definitely increased my interest in cooking. The rest of the week I cook with meat from a farm CSA (community supported agriculture) share. This allows us to purchase 15 lbs of pasture raised, hormone-free meat each month. I purchase my share through Liberty Delight Farms. And once a week we order takeout for dinner (my favorite night of the week).

Bedtime

Thankfully both of my children sleep through the night at this stage (I’m getting ready to start over with baby #3 so wish me luck!) but we got there by moving the kids out of our bedroom, establishing a bedtime routine, and using the cry it out method (aka sleep training) for a little while. Moving the kids out of my bedroom was vital for me. I always start off with co-sleeping before moving my kids to a bassinet or pack n play in my room. But there’s something about having me nearby that just causes my kids to wake up looking for my attention (or milk) more often. I was amazed at how much longer they started sleeping when they left my room. This is only recommended when your kids are about 6 months +.

Crying it out is a controversial method, I know some parents can’t stand to hear their little ones’ cries go unanswered and I felt the same way at first. We tried it with my son Mason when he was about 5 months old because I was still getting up multiple times a night and feeling like a zombie at work. The first night of crying it out my husband had to stop me from going to him and I felt so sad. But then when he finally fell asleep, he slept for the rest of the night! On the second night he cried for a much shorter interval before falling asleep. After a few days he barely cried at all. The time it takes to get this method to work can vary but trust me it does work. And both of my kids survived the experience and are happy and very attached to me.

Some people are amazed at how easily they usually fall asleep at home but it’s because we’ve been doing the same bedtime routine for so long that they’re very used to what comes next. I use Honest Calming Lavender Bubble Bath to help the boys get in a sleepy mood. After bath time I read 1-2 board books that are appropriate for Myles, then take him to his bed and turn on 15 minutes of bedtime music on his Scout dog (I’ve also used a noise machine and night light in the past- the Hatch Baby Rest is amazing, but found that they do fine without it now). I rock him in my arms for 2-3 minutes then lay him down and leave. He’s usually asleep within 10 minutes without any fuss. Then I read 1-2 more advanced books for Mason and repeat the same music/rocking routine with his Scout dog. Sometimes he takes longer to fall asleep but he lays in his crib without crying until he does. Then I give myself a mental pat on the back and relax for about 30 mins before joining my husband for a Netflix show.

I know a lot of people who co-sleep end up doing so long-term, but once my babies reached the 6 month mark having designated kid-free time every night and sleeping in my bed without them has been so beneficial to my mental health and my marriage.

Those are the most important aspects of my daily routine. I would love to hear your thoughts/tips for establishing a routine in the comments.

Xo,

Courtney